


Missing Sleep, Missing You

by Mo-hot-ve (LocalAngelTracker)



Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: Feelings Are Difficult, Forbidden Preston emotions™️, Hurt/Comfort, Insomnia, M/M, Mutual Pining, PTSD, Post-Game, Slow Burn, railroad ending
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-06
Updated: 2018-11-24
Packaged: 2019-04-19 11:26:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14236281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LocalAngelTracker/pseuds/Mo-hot-ve
Summary: Preston Garvey has begun to loose sleep at night due to unresolved trauma and finds a companion in X6-88 during his walks. Things grow slowly between them, but does the courser share the last minuteman’s feelings?





	1. Chapter 1

Sanctuary hills, from a distance, was one of the largest and roomiest settlements in the commonwealth, matched only by sunset co-op. The co-op didn’t have the luxury of the protection and seclusion of Sanctuary hills however, increased by the red rocket just down the road that was slowly being converted into part of sanctuary itself. The only downside of such a large home was the amount of time it took to wander the perimeter, a task that had only grown more difficult with the growing addition of people, buildings, and travelers who had found their way there. In some regards, the extra eyes and hands were a comfort, a sign of solidarity and family. In others, it was a reminder for Preston Garvey of the risk that sat with such a large gathering. Even after the destruction of the institute and brotherhood, coupled with the rejuvenation of the minutemen, Preston couldn’t shake the idea that something was just waiting to go wrong. It was difficult, even after all the time and healing that had taken place in the last year and a half not to worry that another Quincy was waiting on the horizon. And so, he found himself not sleeping, something that hadn’t happened since the first few months after he and the small band of survivors had made their way here. Instead he tried to keep his mind busy, walking the whole of the town and all the way out to the red rocket and back. The hum of the turrets weren’t enough to settle his nerves, nor the warm feel of the laser musket in his hands. So he would try and wear himself out by walking from sundown to sunup, and spend the days assisting in the garden plots that had popped up over time, till his muscles ached. Even then, sleep was rare and fitful, and the looks Danny had been giving him as of late were more of worry than anything else. 

She knew he wasn’t sleeping but it was if she didn’t want to acknowledge yet, probably in vague discomfort of having her own questionable sleeping patterns brought up. They were still comrades till the end, General and the last minuteman, a legendary pair, but there was still unspoken things. She had sided with the railroad truly, despite her devotion to the minutemen, and there was a lot to unpack emotionally she just didn’t seem ready for yet. Preston understood, even if the gap growing between them only added to his anxiety. It would just be a bridge they crossed later, when she was ready, just as she had waited for him. 

Until then, he would do his best on his own, as he had before. Unfortunately, carrying on alone had its disadvantages. The lack of sleep was starting to take it’s hold, not that he would admit it, and the length of his walk had grown longer. His legs were weary but he had a duty to these people, and he wouldn’t let anything happen to them. 

It’s almost 2 am by rough judgement of the moon when he makes his way to the bridge. Over it, around the red rocket, along the backside of Sanctuary, back to the river, repeat. There was a thought in the back of his mind to include a brief trip to the vault for an overlook of the area in the back of his mind but that could be saved for later. He’d have to make a note to suggest to Danny that it would be good for a sniper’s nest, something she could work out the details of with MacCready later. One foot steps into the bridge and from behind him comes the soft crunch of boots on gravel. 

He whips around, musket raised in surprise, the lack of sleep making him jittery and he’s met with a raised eyebrow behind dark sunglasses. “Everything alright?” Asks X6, a note of concern in his normal monotone. His head tilts, just a touch to the side and Preston knows he’s being studied from behind those glasses. 

He sighs, more in relief than anything and lowers the musket, relaxing his stance. “Yeah, yeah I’m good” he laughs softly, trying to dispel the odd tension in the air. X6 always had such an intense, serious aura around him and it seemed to pepper every interaction he had. “Didn’t hear you coming” he says in way of explanation for his jumpiness and he swears he sees the hint of an amused smirk. 

“I know” X6 answers, clearly smug with being able to get the drop on anyone. Coursers. Go figure. He was almost as bad about sneakiness as deacon. “Can I join you on patrol?” He asks casually which catches Preston by surprise. 

“Of...course?” He answers, unable to keep the confusion off his face. “I’m just wandering the perimeter, nothing special” he gestures lightly with his head for X6 to follow and the courser falls in step by his side perfectly as if their walk was ritual. “What are you doing awake?” He asks. Normally, only nick or those on guard were up at this time of night. X6 was the same generation of synth as Curie or Danse, meaning he should be asleep as well. 

X6 shrugs and remains silent for quite a bit, a frustrating response if any. Finally, he seems to settle on an answer that doesn’t do much to answer any sort of question” I don’t require the same needs as humans.” There’s something to be implied there Preston is sure, but he’s far too tired to care or try. Puzzling out X6 was a tomorrow morning kinda problem. They walk in silence for quite a while from there on out, the silence only broken after they’ve rounded the front end of the red rocket. “Why the long patrols?” X6 asks and his head turns with a deep frown when he hears Preston laugh. 

“See anyone else doing it?” He asks. He can be just as elusive as X6 can and the annoyance on the other’s face at receiving the same treatment makes him crack a small smile. “I’m patrolling because no one else is” he says in way of explanation “Ready at a minute’s notice, you know?” He says and it sounds more sarcastic than he means it to. 

X6 seems to understand and nods slowly. It’s a mystery what’s going on behind his carefully crafted mask of intimidation, but he’s not lecturing about how unhealthy it is or fretting over something he can’t fix. For that, Preston is grateful. It was nice to just speak and let things be said without a response, not that he didn’t appreciate his friends’ concern or advice. 

They continue on in silence, around the rest of the gas station and back across the bridge. They go back along the well worn path surrounding the neighborhood, starting the longest part of the loop, still X6 doesn’t say a word, but Preston doesn’t really feel the need to fill the lull either. The moon is full, a nice change from the clouds of the previous nights that had made the walk more difficult. The addition of another presence was yet another reassurance and for a temporary time, things feel right and safe. The relaxation unfortunately, makes his steps heavier, his body aching for the rest it had been denied. 

He doesn’t notice how out of it he’s started to get until he stumbles over a tree root, something he should have seen coming, and a strong hand grabs his arm, steadying him. He blinks, looking down at wear X6 is holding him but that hand is quickly pulled away”Thanks” he says with a sheepish smile, one X6 doesn’t return. 

“You’re exhausted.” Is the response, X6 beginning to walk again, Preston falling in line this time. “I can finish patrol for the night. Go sleep.” It’s an order and it’s not all wrapped in one and it makes Preston’s head hurt. 

“No.” He shakes his head, clearing it. “I’m gonna finish the loop.” He pauses remembering his warm bed and considers the offer, coupled now with the studying look he’s getting again from his companion. “Then I’ll sleep” he adds as concession. To be frank, he’s really too tired to argue further. X6 is the first to offer to take the loop and if he wanted to avoid sleep too, sure let him. What could go wrong? Well...lots...but for once Preston decides that can be someone else’s problem. 

His agreement to sleep doesn’t halt the studying look however, X6’s eyes still on him and he finds that he actually hates sunglasses in that moment more than anything else. Damn him and deacon both for being pretentious enough to wear them at night. But after a while, the look goes away and they’re back to walking in comfortable silence as if the previous moment had never existed. The look is back however, when they reach halfway along the river on the back end of the gardens. Preston sighs and stops, turning to X6 with annoyance. 

“How long are you gonna look at me like that?” He snaps, feeling defensive at being mentally picked apart by the other. X6 has barely talked to anyone at the settlement since his arrival and his sudden interest in Preston now that’s he’s tired is grating in ways he can’t explain. 

X6’s tone doesn’t change and he receives another small shrug” How long are you going to fight sleep?” Is the challenging response and Preston sighs in frustration. He opens his mouth to grumble out a response and is interrupted. “Go sleep, Garvey. You’re not at your best this tired. I can walk the rest of the night” X6’s voice isn’t forceful in a negative way, but there’s an unfamiliar warmth and concern in it, something rarely heard from the courser save when he was chatting with Danny or the rare child. It catches Preston off guard and his mouth clicks shut in surprise. 

“You sure you’ll be alright by yourself” he asks, hesitantly glancing back at the home with his bed in it. When he turns back that infuriating eyebrow is raised once more. He shoulders his musket with a small huff under his breath of “courser. Right. Just thought I’d check” if X6 heard his grumble, his face doesn’t reveal it. “Right” he says a little louder” Night then...” he gives X6 one last long lingering look of vague confusion at the other’s unexpected kindness before turning back around and beginning to walk through the fields to his home. Lord only knows what this whole thing was about. Once again, a problem for morning Preston to figure out. 

When he gets inside his hat is hung up, followed by his overcoat. The musket goes next to his bed and his boots are lazily kicked off somewhere in the floor. He yawns despite himself, and lays back, still dressed. Morning Preston problem, he thinks hazily before conking out completely for the first time in weeks.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These next two chapters are rather short but they’re to build up the major arc. Regularly scheduled slow burn gay content will return after

The next morning, well, afternoon when Preston awakes, the sun is high in the sky. It’s a nice change for Preston he thinks as he lays comfy in his bed, not to be the one to greet the sun. He’s surprised to find that although he fell asleep on top of the covers, he’s been tucked into the bed, despite still being in his clothes. It’s no matter, he was tired and he probably just got cold. What’s truly odd is that the boots he swore he had kicked off haphazardly were lined up perfectly next to the door. Weirder things have happened he thinks with a lazy content sigh and debates the pros and cons of getting up. In the end, he finally decides its better to get up and get moving than sleep any longer and jeopardize his slim chances of sleeping again tonight. 

His muscles are stiff as he stands and he stretches out, trying to loosen himself up. The walk to the communal house for something to eat allows him to wave in passing to those working out in the gardens, a wave that’s returned with cheerful and teasing ‘good afternoon’ from those working. By the time he gets to the communal kitchen his stomach is growling and he’s digging through the cabinets. A shame codsworth wasn’t around. The robot always made an excellent omelet, but Preston could make do on his own. No doubt the mechanical housekeeper was putting his prewar garden knowledge to use on the mutfruit trees, and Preston certainly wouldn’t want to call him away from that. 

He’s pleased to find a small box of snack cakes hidden behind several boxes of insta-mash, no doubt stashed by one of the many synths that now lived in sanctuary. If there had been one good thing to come out of Danny assisting the railroad it was that by sheer determined force she had kept every single member of their small little family alive despite what happened to both the brotherhood and the institute. Glancing at the dwindling amount of cakes in the box, Preston decides to take only one, knowing that it likely wasn’t to be missed. There should be left over Yao gui roast in the drinking buddy that he could heat up as well, something that would go well with a cold Gwinnett ale. Once more the box is carefully hidden behind 200 year old powder in a box and Preston can begin unwrapping his snack cake to eat before he’s caught. No one would be mad, but a disappointed look on Shaun or Curie’s face would make him guilty. Unfortunately he has no such luck for as soon as he takes the first bite X6 steps into the home with a soft hum. 

He makes it three steps in before noticing the minuteman attempting to do his best to blend in and only grants his sheepish hello with a raised eyebrow and want might be mistaken for the hint of a smile. “Sleep well?” The courser asks and Preston is careful to note the teasing air behind it. 

He straightens himself, trying to be as casual as possible about the fact that he had been caught in the sugar stash” I did” and he drops the aloof look to truly smile, unable to help himself” Still exhausted but I appreciate you taking the loop for me. Didn’t run into any problems did you?” He asks, hoping to crack open the courser’s facade just a tad bit more. He couldn’t help but enjoy this new found start of what felt like a friendship. 

X6 smiles back, tight lipped and slightly awkward like he wasn’t entirely used to the expression. It was charming and Preston feels his own smile grow just a little bit more” The only ‘problem’ I’ve discovered since you retired for the evening is someone in my snack cakes this morning” and Preston’s smile drops, realizing he might have offended the other. Before he can get a word out to apologize, X6 is next to him, reaching into the same cabinet he had for the box” I don’t mind” he continues, his smile gone but his friendly tone still present” But I will inform you Paladin Tincan’s are much easier to....borrow... and they’re in the top shelf of the closet.” 

Preston can’t help but laugh at that, hearing Danny’s nickname for Danse, something X6 must have picked up from his travel’s with her. “So you’re telling me he squeezes in here with his power armor for the sole purpose of being able to put his food stash where deacon and Mac can’t reach?” He doesn’t get a reply, just a snack cake raised in toast and another small smile. 

X6 turns to leave, snack cake still in hand. It’s just like him to come and go as he pleases and Preston doesn’t really mind the abrupt end to their conversation. That’s just how X6 is. Perhaps if X6 joins him in patrol again they could continue the conversation. The courser however does pause in the doorway with a thought remembered and casually calls over his shoulder” Danny wants to meet you at the Red Rocket by the way” and disappears out the door, leaving Preston disappointed. 

Danny is a dear friend but one he’s in no way ready to have a heavy heart to heart with her, especially not after the sense of betrayal that still sits heavy on his heart. But he supposes, it’s better to rip the bandage off now then suffer slowly. Breakfast could wait, and he heads out of the house to go see the general, hoping she had good news for him waiting.


	3. Chapter 3

Daniel “Danny” Hayes, wife of Nathan Hayes, and sole survivor of the government sanctioned cryo-freeze experiment was a hard woman. Supposedly by her own accounts, she had been that way in a past life as well, long before her law license was revoked and she became a housewife. Deep inside, beyond the wall after wall she had built up she was a good woman, but there was no mistaking that next to that kindness was a calculating ruthlessness that had allowed her to carry on through her trauma. Preston held a deep respect for her from the moment they had met in the crumbling museum, not once had she hesitated when asked to help out against amazing odds, something the continued on to this day. 

However, there was a certain sense of hurt between the two of them, despite their friendship. She had chosen the railroad, who were good people but in Preston’s book narrow-sighted in their vision. If she hadn’t helped him to rebuild the settlements and minutemen, there’s no telling what sort of anarchy could have broken out with the two largest and most threatening powerhouses gone. No doubt a power vacuum that size would entice not just more raiders but gunners too and more people would have been hurt. He didn’t judge her for caring about others, but he wished he had been allowed to know before hand what her plans where before she disappeared and left a monster crater in the center of what was once CIT. He wished she hadn’t begun to shut him and the others out while she plotted out caravan routes and defense strategies. He wished all lot of things but it was on her shoulders to own up to her short comings, not his. 

She’s alone in the back office of the red rocket station, no doubt in her own way trying to tune out the ridiculous argument between Mac and Deacon just outside the doorway about comic books. She smiles when Preston squeezes past the two, looking up at him with tired bags under her eyes. Her armor is off and she’s in a green dress that curie has picked out for the last time she was in sanctuary months ago. “It’s good to see you” she says, standing to pull him into a hug he wasn’t expecting.” It’s good to see anyone that isn’t determined to drive me bonkers” she gives a sharp high laugh, a hint at what her own nerves are like and Preston can only offer her a sympathetic look. 

“MacCready has a good point” He offers, trying to dispel the air. Seeing her reminds him just how tired he is, no doubt a side effect of her own insomnia showing. She laughs again and seems to relax a bit, fingers moving up to toy with her earlobe where earrings once sat before coming back down at finding the space empty. “X6 mentioned you wanted to talk to me? I’m hoping there’s good news on the synth resettlement idea we planned. I know I’ve heard good things from Carla about Abernathy Farm the last time she came through” 

Danny nods quickly, hand dispelling the empty air” Of course of course! Brilliant on your end really. But I’m surprised X6 didn’t tell you more” Preston raised an eyebrow, annoyance creeping up on him as he begins to realize he’s been left out of the loop once more.” There’s a threat, well.....not a threat but rumors about a growing power in the west? Sounds like gunners but it might not be” her tone is far too casual, she’s trying to hide her worry and it irritated Preston even more. 

He folds his arms across his chest and takes a steadying breath, trying to keep his souring mood from getting the best of him” And you’ve known about this threat for how long? I’m not really sure how I factor into this. You know where the castle is to get a radio broadcast out” his annoyance bleeds through his tone in the last sentence and she has the grace and sense to at least look ashamed for a little bit before she’s digging through her bag for a scrap of paper.

“I don’t want to cause a panic, but I need information and I’m not going to get it with a now notorious face like mine” she finds what she’s looking for and hands the note with a dozen names and towns listed on it. “You’ve got the people on your side and X6 has the ability to track down people like no other. I just need to find out what’s going on and those are the closest leads I have” she looks up at him, hands folding an unfolding as her ocd tics increase with agitation. 

He sighs, glancing over the note before back at her” Danny....” he pauses looking for the right words. “When I come back you owe me an explanation.” He states firmly, not wanting to give the lawyer an inch to spin.” I’ll do this favor for you, but I’m serious. We can’t keep dodging the Brahmin in the room like it doesn’t exist” her eyes Avert and her fingers go back to her ears, actually fiddling with them despite the lack of jewelry this time.” I want to know everything that’s going on. It’s what friends do, they talk to each other.”

With that her eyes look back up to meet his and she nods, her voice quiet but sincere” Of course. It’s the least I can do after everything you’ve done for me” She forces a weak smile” You just have to come back safe so we can have that talk, Alright?” She stands once more and gives him another hug as a way of goodbye, one he’s slightly more willing to accept with the promise of being told the truth. 

He’s careful to note that both Mac and deacon are quiet when he leaves save for the passing hellos they give him. He wonders briefly if the argument wasn’t made up to hide his and Danny’s conversation from the other settlers. At least he’s getting a vacation out of this if you could call it that, one with X6 by his side no less. He just wonders why the courser hadn’t mentioned it sooner.


	4. Chapter 4

When Preston finally makes his way back to sanctuary the courser is no where to be seen and Preston wonders briefly where the man seems to go during the day. Of course, with Preston helping with farming and repairs they really wouldn’t cross paths that often, but it doesn’t stop his curiosity at what the other did. For all he knew X6 entertained himself with following Danse around while the other hauled junk in his powersuit to annoy him. Or maybe they just talked, one causeless ex soldier to another. He makes a mental note to ask while on the road, surely it couldn’t hurt. 

He makes his way around the fields, double checking that everything will be alright with the farmers and settlers while he’s gone. From there he makes his way around and through the various converted houses of sanctuary. It was impressive how much the little settlement had grown over the last year into a thriving town and hub. Preston couldn’t be prouder of the people who lived there and how they had pulled together. A stop into Curie’s clinic, one of those converted homes finally points him in the direction of where X6 might be. It seems the course was already a step ahead of him, having put together packs for their travels while he was meeting with Danny. She had mentioned that X6 already knew. Preston just didn’t expect the other man to be so eager to set out. 

Curie sends Preston towards the hill vault 111 is built into, a relatively short hike, but confusing one. The first direction they should be heading according to the strange randomized lists of places was east towards the reclaimed town of Lexington. All the same, X6 has their packs so Preston makes his way up the hill to meet the other. When he gets to the top he finds X6 sitting on an old mental crate, looking out over sanctuary and the surrounding land. Preston had been right about this being a good lookout spot, you could see for miles from here. He’s deeply pleased he had been correct in his predictions, the lack of sleep not once taking away from his strategic genius. He grins as he makes his way towards X6, and takes curtesy to shout-out a greeting as he approaches rather than relying on the dirt under his boots to do the job for him. “Enjoying the view?” 

X6 turns to him with a small but knowing smile, scooting over to offer some room for Preston to sit. “I came for one last look before we left.” He gestures lightly at the view “it’s much better than the buildings in downtown Boston. There’s so much destruction and filth. This is much nicer. Much.....calmer.” He tilts his head slightly to the side, looking out once more over the space as Preston takes the offered seat. 

“Didn’t know you spent so much time up here” Preston chuckles, hoping internally it didn’t come across as rude. He certainly wouldn’t want to imply that X6 didn’t fit in with the settlement or was too isolated. Thankfully X6 doesn’t seem to take offense, at least outwardly. 

“I can see everything that goes on and make sure people are safe” X6’s tone is proud and Preston can’t help but agree. It makes him glad he isn’t the only one who had seen the value in the hill. “Every trader that comes in and out is under my careful watch.” He pauses and then adds much quieter” and the sunsets are nice” 

This last comment catches Preston by surprise. Of course X6 would enjoy sunsets, who wouldn’t?, but he had never once thought to think to ask the courser about things he found beautiful. The comment was nice, and made the minuteman curious to know more about what the other enjoyed. “ I never thought to come up here to watch them. They must really be something” 

That tiny pleased smile comes back on X6’s face and he nods” Even more so now that it’s autumn. I’m surprised you never came up here. I’ve seen you make your routes before but you’ve never come up once to the vault” 

Preston shrugs, growing slightly uncomfortable as his mind goes back to last night when they had taken the patrol together. “How long have you watched me walk my route?” He had no idea anyone else had been privy to how much he actually did. It made him feel strangely defensive, as if his actions to protect his friends were being called into question. 

X6 stands, the smile slipping away back into his careful neutral expression. It takes him a while to answer, but when he does it’s cryptic and short “Long enough to recognize a pattern” X6 moves away before Preston can defend himself, leaving the minuteman to just huff in annoyance. 

“That’s not an answer. Why were you watching me?” 

X6 pulls his bag up from where it’s leaning against an old piece of machinery and shoulders it before picking up the one next to him. He turns, offering the second bag out.” Because......” he pauses again, seeming to bite back whatever his first comment was going to be. “Because someone should be watching your back while you watch ours” he finally answers and the annoyance drains out of Preston in an instance. 

“Oh” he answers softly and stands, shuffling over sheepishly to collect his bag. He feels bad for getting up in arms, but the idea of anyone watching his back these days is strange, at least for the current situation. “Sorry if I-“

“Don’t worry about it.” X6 says with a shrug. “Shouldn’t we be getting on to Lexington? Or do you want to head out to the furthest location on the list instead? “

Preston nods, immediately snapping back into the familiar comfort of order and leadership” Lexington first. It’s strategically important and they’re closer to the west trade roads than we are technically speaking. From there we can get a better idea of where to head to next in order to get an idea of this new emerging threat.”

X6 nods” Any clue what it might be? Danny thinks it’s gunners rebuilding but without their radio and leaders left its destabilized. Raiders don’t have this organization”

Preston can only shrug and put on his pack” I don’t know much about any of this. No one has mentioned any sort of threat to me and I should have been the first to know over freedom radio if there was a major threat. No settlements have been attacked at least. I’m not sure still how you found out before I did?”

X6’s face sours considerably “Madam Direct-......Danny thought it might be Dr Ayo. He escaped during the attack on the institute, but this doesn’t match what i could logically gather to be his plan of action for revenge. Revenge itself isn’t logical, he’s lucky to have survived.” X6’s tone only grows more frustrated as he goes on and finally he has to pause, collecting himself so he can put back on his careful face of protection. He clears his throat, beginning again much calmer” Lexington has the scout they caught but they haven’t been able to gather much other than he was looking for traders and farmers specifically to recruit for a ‘labor force’”

It’s now Preston’s turn to frown deeply “like knock off evil minutemen?” The nod of confirmation he gets only confuses him” That just sounds ridiculous. Who would send a scout just to do that? Raider and gunner scouts don’t stop to ask people to come back home with them politely” 

“Exactly. That’s why we’re being sent with urgency”

Preston can only snort with forced amusement “some vacation then. Would have been nice to know what I was getting into first, but at least I’m not alone in this.” He gestures to the path down the hill “let’s get a move on then I guess. Maybe Lexington will have some quick easy answers and we can spend the rest of the week relaxing”

X6’s tiny smile returns as he falls into step with the minuteman” Is anything ever that simple?”


End file.
